It’s always been this weird thing of mine that I hate being indebted to anyone.
I hate that term, utang na loob. I know it isn’t mandatory, but this Filipino culture has me bearing guilt(?) and some-other-emotion-I-can’t-quite-explain every time I am given a favor, especially major ones that I didn’t ask for. So if at all possible, I don’t like asking people to do stuff that I can do myself. I don’t like asking for help unless I really needed it. Afterwards I’d always feel like I owe them something in return, and if they didn’t accept any compensation, I’d only feel like a filthy user. That’s how this world works, isn’t it? We pay for the things we get. Not paying would be like stealing.
I prefer being independent and self-reliant. I prefer being able to blame myself and nobody else. I prefer to do everything on my own terms.
I cannot wait for the day to come that I’ll finally be able to live off my own abilities, to not need assistance from my parents, and instead be providing for them as payback for all the years.
So imagine my frustration when I entered college a few years back and I learned that UP upped their tuition fees, possibly for the first time in a long time. How great is it that they decided to implement it just when I was starting college, right? (Although, even through that anger and frustration, I still didn’t agree with rallies and those aktibistas. They just seem counterproductive, unless I misunderstand) Well that frustration came right back when I read about the new rules, or something. I’m not sure if it’s already going to be implemented, but it’s still exasperating to read about anyway.
Supposedly, now, instead of all students being assumed into Bracket B, we’re all going to be in Bracket A unless proven otherwise. Now, I know this wouldn’t actually affect my paying or anything, since technically I’d my parents would still be paying the same amount (also frustrating: that becoming a doctor means I, as well as the rest of family, will have to deal with delayed gratification), just with a little more inconveniences with the documents. However, I found it more annoying though that UPD/UPLB/UPM campuses are charging higher tuition rates than the rest of the UP campuses. I understand what someone told me, that perhaps it’s because these campuses offer better facilities and more faculty. But it’s still frustrating for me somehow, in a way I could not explain. Don’t we uphold that standard of excellence? Why then am I paying for something I could have gotten at a lesser amount elsewhere, if this same standard is being kept? Grr. Also, why do I only hear of this now, when there’s only a week left until enrolment? Shouldn’t they have released wind of this sooner, for students (and parents) to be better prepared for it? Grr!
I have this bad way with words that I cannot fully explain my sentiments. It’s always been like this. Ironic, for such an opinionated babblemouth. You’d think by now I’d have learned how to voice out my concerns. Tsk. Anyway, suffice it to say that I find every little bit of news regarding tuition, or anything else my parents have to pay for me, troubling.
